Endless Pavement

Endless pavement
Endless dreams
As I look around, that's all I see
I have to ask with uncertainty,
Is this all I'll ever aspire to be

Dreaming is fine,
If that's all it is
Instead of walking on eggshells,
To be part of the biz

Always trust yourself,
When it comes to your heart
Following your feelings
Is still the hardest part

I'll leave you with this,
Though I know it's not much
Beginning is easy,
Just don't fear her touch.

Hurtful Prosthetics

I walk down to the corner
Same sights I've seen all my life
Same faces in passing everyday

I live in a world protected by bubble-wrap
I live in a world where everything's decided
I feel so... so constrained by the walls of my mind
I'm going to let you show me the new world
And cast all my fears aside

I'm going to put my faith in you
I'd say I'm surprised I am,
But with you, I know all my dreams can come true
Together.

Don't be afraid
As one, we can brave this new world
And hold it in the palms of out hands
Together, we can do anything

I love you
I hope you know that
Actually, I know you do...
Where ever you are

Depression Lament

Life is crazy. I just don't understand it. I have to tell you I love you, but it won't make life any easier. I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed where I'm at and that I know things are going to be ok. They aren't. I spend my days dreaming of what could've been and my nights wishing the next morning will never come. In between, I keep trying to find out where I went wrong... when my dreams died and all my earthly ambitions ceased to exist. I realized I spent my life trying to please other people as a way to appease the immense pain and pressure put on me by people I didn't hold sacred. And now I can't live myself. I can hardly live for the moment. I have no one to blame but myself, but it's all too easy to pass the blame. So I can't... I won't. The road from here is bleak, dark. There's hardly a shadow sketched on the dirt path that is my life… I don't know where I'm at, I don't know where I've been, and I sure as hell don't know where I'm going. I just need to scrape the mud off my shoes, but I don't understand why I can't do that. The understanding of many issues continues to escape me and it frightens me that I'll die in pursuit of their ideals. I'm not scared, but I'm close. I always said I'm not afraid of much, and in saying that, I have always been sincere. Time isn't much, but it's the thing that haunts me the most. I'm just beginning to realize that. You can outrun just about anything in life, but time is eternal. It's the only constant, the only thing that cannot be changed. I know in my heart I shouldn't fear it; I should embrace every moment, yet I find myself in the corner scared to fight. I just know if I lose that fight, there's nothing left, nothing to grasp on to. I have nothing to risk, so I say, but why can't I take the chance? Why can't I just let go of my ideals, my idiosyncrasies, and just live? Live for the moment. Live for the future. And most of all, live for myself. Fear can be debilitating. I should know… It's been who I am for my entire life. I just never realized it. For all I've done and tried to be, I can't escape what I'm afraid to see. Yet, I can't face it. Deep inside I know we all face ourselves in the mirror, but we all turn away, trying to be someone the ones we love will love. I admire the people who know who they are, acknowledge their flaws and embrace them. Flaws are a part of who I am; yet I just can't face up to them. I know that my life is in shambles. I'm a hollowed out corpse of the person I used to be. But I pine to be content with the uncertainty of life instead of bitching about it every waking moment. But can't that be said for everyone?

What I've learned of life. Pain is inevitable... it's as strong as the noontime sun and as constant as star-glittered sky at night. I've learned no matter what you've been through... whatever epiphany you have; you still gotta maintain... you gotta stay strong. I've learned that beliefs may change, but your virtues never will.