Trying to begin again

If I choose to let my beard grow
If I choose to cry all night
Would you think I'm trying something new
Or reaching out with all my might?

If I choose to say I love you
Unsure what you might say
You'd let me down the hard way
Such is the cliché

I'm not half the man I used to be
But I still feel him on the other side
I can't let myself be strayed to darkness
'Cause you can't live your dreams before you ever wake

Tell me what I want to hear, Sandy
Tell me "we're for each other" tonight
Although I can't make it now without your breath
We won't always be together anymore

The fire doesn't burn tonight
Sometimes I fear it never has
Can I keep telling myself I'm gonna win, baby
When I can't even get into the game?

Time will never be the same

Did you ever want to tell the world of a thousand love-lost days?
And share the stories of a face-less world without the one you love.
Afraid the words might never come or hardly make a scratch
You realize the only mistake is to let these feelings come to pass

Did you ever want to cry all night, but couldn't shed a tear?
Scared to death the body's your only connection between your mind and your heart
You can feel the spirit on the outskirts waiting for the aftershock to calm
Though it's only just for moments, they can only feel like years

I had about a million times to share with you my dreams
But dreams can never shatter outside the beauty of the soul
So terrified to let down, so terrified to succeed
Nothing made too much sense
Until I knew you were here

I love you more than words can say; more than they will ever allow
Sometimes I wish I said it more and had just one last chance
But now I know you're with me and I can't tell you how I feel
For the first time in my life, I know I'll never be alone.
I love you.

Loved Soon

Everytime I think of how you love me
I think I love you more
And when I can't fall asleep without hearing your voice
I dream of you instead

I don't know how this happened
But I know I can't complain
All I know's that I love you
You're perfect and you're all that I want
You're all that I need

How does this work?
You know I've never been here before
I'll do what I can
I just hope it's enough to keep you here

You can tell me your tired
But tell me you need sleep
I need to tell you I love you and mean it,
You're all that I need
You're all that I love

Love means never having to say I love you
But hearing the words, you fall for her all over again.

Kingdom

Have you ever taken a chance, honey?
You ever look inside the mirror and have the courage not to blink...
To feel what's inside and let it be your guide?

Have you ever had a dream, honey?
I never knew what I could become until I saw you
You let me shake these chains, let me free you of yours

All you had to do is believe
I never thought that was all too much to ask
Yet, I'm still clinging to the other side of the door

I've always looked for someone to share my kingdom
When I should've looked for the one willing to protect it's walls
You were in it for yourself, you never cared about me
And I realized it too late... again

It's always the case, when it's a matter of the heart
You have to lose a million battles before you can ever win a war

Sometimes the battlefield feels so empty,
And so it does again.

Will I ever find you?
Everyone tells me once I stop looking, you'll find me...
My luck, I'd be a sleep.

So this goes to you, where ever you are
My heart is yours for the taking
I want nothing for return, as long as you love me, too

I'd give up the moon for just one more shot
That's all you need to turn it all around.

I-80 West

Some nights before I go to bed I cry unto my sheets.
In angst that you are fearing, too, of a love that can't be ours.
I may have thought a time or two of beaus I've lost before.
Happen to us, it cannot, my love for you is sworn.

I dream of nights when we're alone, our future's out of sight.
We lay in bed, and both as one, we dream of the unknown.
Our futures aren't written yet; our choices are our own.
I hope you know no matter what, you'll never be alone.

I dream of nights when I'm alone, my future's in the past.
I was lax all through the present, never knew it doesn't last.
I can't let what I feel today, be miserably bypassed.
Together, I must tell you now, our futures will be vast.

We've both been broken hearted from a long, long time ago.
The way you hold me is all that I need to know.
And it's still late, but I'll always wait through the short night with you.

Each night before I go to bed I look up at the stars.
In hopes that you are dreaming, too, of a love that can be ours.
I know I've thought a time or two of passions lost before.
Hold a candle, they cannot…

It's you that I adore.

The O.M.

You said you weren't here today
And now I'm gonna make you pay
There ain't much left for me to say
So, now I'm going on my way

On... my.. way.
I'm goin' on my fucking way.

You said that you were here to stay
But when I looked you went away
I know my heart my heart feels much betrayed
Can't live my life in disaray

Can't... live.. life.
Can't live my life in disaray.

I've thought of leaving twice before
I couldn't show you the front door
I thought our love was meant for lore
You left me to just be ignored

Left... me.. there
Left me there to be ignored.

These are the last words I will write
My love for you I'll have to fight
I hope your future will be bright
But it's time for me to say goodnight

Say... good.. night..
The last time i will say goodnight.

Passion.
Desire.
One man on his quest for his future.
One man... in the fight of his life.
One man...
...alone

Tired

I'm tired of trying to live my life,
The way you expected it to be.
The dreams you've had since I was born,
Are dreams I'll never see.

I haven't planned my future yet,
The road ahead is clear.
My path has not been chosen,
But why are you overcome with fear?

I'm tired of feeling like shit,
From all of your imperfections.
Just because you fucked up your life,
Doesn't mean I'll fuck up mine.

I have a lot to offer,
But it's hard for me to notice.
Whenever I try and do my best,
My response from you is callous.

So in the end, I'll be alone,
But cry for me I won't.
I'm just tired of being your victim,
When I know how great I can be.

Star-gazing

I look up at the stars
And all I see is you...
I can't hardly believe it
I don't know what to do...

Then last night, when you called me
I got my hopes so high...
But when the talk was over
I kinda wanted to die...

I stayed up all night crying
It was all that I could do...
But when the sun came rising
I finally got a clue...

You make me tell you I loved you
And you threw it in my face...
You invited me over for coffee
But then you sprayed me with your mace...

I can't believe I'm sorry
But it's all that I can say...
You should know that I don't love you
So I have one more thing to say...

Fuck you.
And the pony you rode in on.
You don't deserve the space this was written on...
You don't deserve the space you are living in...

Fuck you.
For fucking me.
Fuck me.
For fucking believe anything you said.

You're a moron.
Know that...
Know that.

I'm better than you will ever be...
And the best part is that you will never believe it.

Stationary Prayer

She asked me for the stars,
Like I had them in my grasp
She quest me for her a reason,
Like I pretend to know the answers

Tired of appeasing
Tired of reassuring
If it hasn't sunk in by now,
Anything I say doesn't matter anyhow

The greatest happiness I've ever found
Is sharing stories of loves before
Never noticing it's half-past-four
Until you see the sunrise, when you opened the door

So, again I wait for the ulti-mate
I can't live a lie, knowing I have to shave every mornin'
I shouldn't be so idelistic, but it's who I am
Lord, I know I'm never right but I know I'm not wrong

Hulkamania

If I were Hulk Hogan, all I'd have to do was rip off my shirt and things would be ok...

Missing

Well, I'm getting fucking tired that you think nothing's missing
If that's the case, why the hell are you always bitchin'?
Things aren't great, yeah, but they aren't the worst
Your head must be way up your own ass, if you're the one cursed

Everyday I see people way too caught up in their lives
Anything that goes wrong is a reason to die
I know that's no way for anyone to live his or her life
But it's better than sometimes forgetting that you're still alive

Why are you always so afraid to of change?
The world out there is full of wonder
The only expectations that matter are your own
You always don't need to know for sure

I'm tired of living by all your 8" by 11"s
I like my late night runs to the 7-eleven
You never understood you could say so much more than those lined sheets of paper
It's your own fault now, babe, cause I'm what your missing

Superhero

It's cold.
And I'm out of control.
It's hot.
So, you fire your gunshot.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't know what to say anymore.
I can't be your superhero, so don't try to be my shrink.

You called me at 2 in the morning
Told me I was the only one who was ever really listening
Put your hopes into everything that I said
When nothing I said even mattered.

It's cold.
And I'm out of control.
It's hot.
So, you fire your gunshot.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't know what to say anymore.
I can't be your superhero, so don't try to be my shrink.

Half the time it feels as if your problems were mine
Putting them on me is like committing a crime
I wish my words had what it takes to make a little difference
But you're the only one who could ever close up the distance

It's cold.
But, I'm the one in control.
It's hot.
You still fire your gunshot.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I know I don't even care anymore.
But I know I can't be your superhero, so don't try
Don't try…
Don't try…
Stop trying to be my shrink.

Tired of Hearing About Second Chances

I like to pretend it didn't actually happen
She acts like it never happened at all
All I want to do is to put the truth on the table
All she wants to do is build immeasurable walls

I never understood why it's called a turn-about
Never understood why she'll never let it out
My words are true and they'll never be mistaken
Her fears still there, but I'll always be her haven

Why can't she let what's been said be said past?
Sometimes I get the feeling you just want the pain to last
Your girlfriends hardly call when this shit isn't happening
But fuck that, you know I'm the one who should be listening

I'm running out of words now
Hell, I'm barely listening
I just could never comprehend why you're so afraid to take a chance
I poured my heart out on the floor and all I got was a sigh
Sometimes the only feeling I think I'd get out of you
Is if I met another girl or even started to cry

But I'm tired of pretending that it never actually happened
At this point, I go on as if it never actually happened
If I ever tried to make up for the asshole I've been,
I'd just laugh in your face, honey, because I'm tired of trying

Adventures in Postal Work

Suicidal ain't a term that is meant for the missing
It's only for those who still need convincing
For those who are scared to move on with their lives
And for those who cannot see the ultimate prize

I don't understand how they get to that point
How they lie and they cry and they keep it inside
Until all that they are is an inferno of anger
Who tries to get by despite human nature

Sometimes I quest God just for one simple answer
"Will I ever be the man I built myself up to be?"
I gaze towards immortal skies,
Wishing on every single star,
Knowing it's my last chance to turn it all around

I refuse to believe that all I have is all I'm ever going to get
Just need to get up off the mat, Face the world with all my imperfections
'Cause I know someday the world will be off my shoulders and in the palm of my hand

Believe

If you believe,
Why do you have to convince me?
Why must you summon my approval at a moments notice?
You think you know who you are,
But you live in the shadows of other people's values.

My opinions matter, but only to myself
That's what keeps me going,
Believing who I am.
You can't swear by visions
You won't let yourself see.

Be who you are
You're the only one knows the path you've traveled.

Remember the past
Dream of the future
Live for the moment

Believe…