Pocket Aces

I call you "Pocket Aces"
...though, you don't know what that means...
It's a silly thing for me to call you...
...but I think that's why I like it the most...

You are the rockets in my pocket...
...you are my chance to win it all...
My one shot to make it beyond this...
...My only wish is in your hands...

Although, I know your power...
...I keep your worth from everyone else...
If everyone knew what I had and who you were...
...you wouldn't be as special...
...our special bond would be shown to all...

When I called you "Pocket Aces"...
...you call me just another guy...
....with poker and beer and hardly a fear...
Just a man incapable of saying what he feels without metaphors...

Baby, I need you to know that I'm afraid of what the whole world thinks...
...because inside, I can't accept that I'm the best you'll ever get...
...so I hold you close and pray at night that no one will ever see...
Who you are, for what you are...
...better than anyone else can be...

I wonder

I can make you happy.
I can make you sad.
I can tell you love me.
I can tell you've got it bad.

I can make you breakfast.
I can make you laugh when you're at your worst.
I can find you the prettiest stone.
I can be honest when I say it pales in comparison to you.

I can write you a love song.
I can sing it without music.
I will always smile when I see you.
I will always hold you even when you're not around.

I lay in bed when I cannot sleep.
I think of many things.
I wonder what what you're doing.
I wonder if you're awake.
I dream that I'm on your mind, too.
I wish that you were mine.

I drive past the same old places.
I know they feel the same.
I am scared that I will never leave.
I hope if I do, you'll be there.

I thought of you again today.
I couldn't get you out of my mind.
I saw you in the store today.
I picked you from the faces in the crowd.
I waved to you and hoped you'd answer.
I bowed my head in disgust as you left me again.

I wonder if you know me.
I wonder if you've seen my face.
I wonder if you'd like my charm.
I am worried I'd scare you away.
I wonder if I asked you out.
I am sure you'd be reluctant at first.
I wonder if we'd click at first.
I wonder when we would.

I write this as a letter to you.
I mail it to the world.
I want everyone to read my words...
...so, I'll never have to wonder again

Internal Crisis at Christmas

It's hard to put a value on the moments in my heart...
...the pieces will stay with me, thought the feelings, they may not...
...It's hard to get a feeling when I'm living what I'm reflecting...
...but, it's that time of year, when every second is a memory...

I'm celebrating this Christmas in purgatory...
...every celebration is eternal, but inside, it's not the same...
I'm celebrating this Christmas in purgatory...
...where you'd think warmth is ok, 'til your unwrapping presents in the rain...
Sharing blessings with a ghost, semi-acquaintances matter most...
...when you're celebrating Christmas in purgatory...

How did I get here?
...when did it start?...
Did it happen in an instant or did the tortoise play a part?
It's hard to get excited, when you've known it from the start...
...the reason you're in purgatory...
...is because you never shared your heart...

I opened all my presents, not a single one stood out...
...just a dress shirt and some tube socks...
...neither of which will ever fit...
I stare into the darkness...
...rather, the never ending fog...
...and ask for Santa, one last wish...
...which will come through in the morning...

I'm no longer there in Sullentown...
...the afternoon mist no longer hovers over all...
My wish came true late Christmas night...
...and I find myself a month before...
...with a chance to let my true feelings show...

...and to let my Christmas miracle know...

The River

Waking up and searching…

…the clutter in my mind…

No closer to a decision…
…nothing visible to find…

It's hard to say for certain…
…when you do not understand…
The future ain't the present…

…not a game for you to shelve…

As for me, I've found the pieces…
…to deconstruct the madness in my mind…

…To put my feelings where they ought to be…
…in the bottom of my heart…
Yet still I lay here wondering what it is right now I want…
…Must I let my emotions take control here…
…or must my thoughts stomp the dreaming out?

I've been waking up and finding…
…my clutter dissipating every day…
…my mind is more efficient, able to make it through in its own way…
It's hard to say for certain, when you do not understand…
…that the future is not the present, just a gift fate to you…

Right now I see a river…
…well past where I am and where I've been…
…it flows freely well ahead me, sure to bend when I don't expect…

Finally, I can accept a life beyond what I can see…

…the rest of what will happen can only be determined by what I allow myself to be…

My clutter has been washed away…
…caught a jet stream years ago…

Yet sometimes I find myself back here, at the scene of the moment I can't let go…
…We all move forward from what we thought was so important in the past…

…but I know along the river, there's a spot where those visions will always last…

My river is more than a figment, or a dream, that's in my soul…
…It's place within myself where my being becomes whole…

My Mantra

Tell me there's a God above...
...and I will show you all my love...
Your delusions about eternity go right through me...
...and although you might not understand...
My will is strong and in demand...
...but I will be here always until you tell me...

Why is it that I'm here right now...
...and how did we become hallow...?
...In the rings of the moonlight, I was told so...
Why'd I think you'd have to be convinced...
...when you picked me up every time I missed?
...I'm just lucky that I found you, when I needed you...

I think it's cute that you believe...
..that every time we disagree...
A set of wings by the pearly gates will find their angel...
...and although I look to the sky with despair...
...in your heart you know I care...
In heaven one day, you know, we'll have a soul to share...

I know it's trite and I know it's lame...
...but this is how I played the game...
One day, I knew, I'd find out how to win it...
...but when you found me on the beaten path...
...to escape the monstrous verbal wrath...
...that awaited me in the glory of the defeated...

When we first joined together, hun...
...a simple kiss in the afternoon...
...I'd come to recognize in the daybreak, I was born anew...
You had saved me from the darkened road...
...I saw the sunlight now exposed...
...I confided with you my mantra in the landscape...

Be kind...
Have faith...
Believe...

And you will never, ever, be alone...

Hope

I've lost my hope...
...and with that, I've lost my soul...
...my sense of self, my sense of being...
Without the feeling of hope inside of me,
...I have lost my reason for living...
...my reason for being, my reason for doing...
Without the ability to dream for something within my sight lines...
...or even beyond them...
It's hard for me to summon the courage to withstand the horrors of daily life...

Losing the ability to dream has made me a mere moral...
...a peasant in the kingdom of life...
With the ability to be cut by the slightest of remarks...
...and to bleed until the remedy is found...
For the first time, I feel the cold of the winter and the sting of the moonlight...
...I feel pain in every facet of my being and my salvation of the unattainable dream has crashed into the never ending ocean...

So, here I am in the world...
...a singular being in the common place of the masses...
Having hope, and belief, in anything keeps the soul alive...
...but somewhere along the line I lost my way...
...and I haven't seen the path for miles...
I'm sad and scared, tired and alone, cold and cringing at the fact I'm no where near where I thought I was...

Never allow yourself...
...for one second...
...to think you may have found the most special and unique snowflake, in the most obscure corner of the Earth...

...you are only going to set yourself up for some major disappointment...

I have always thought hope was eternal...
...and in doing so, I've allowed myself to flourish under circumstances a person like me should never had the courage to confront...
...but now, I don't even see that same man...
...not a shadow, not a blur...
...and I'm afraid I've lost him forever...

I've lost my hope...
...and accepting that fact has allowed me to turn a corner...
...I don't know what I'm going to find yet...
...but I have to allow myself to see...

Who knows...?
...maybe I'll find what I've been searching for all along...

Defined

I'm a man with a plan

...you may not understand...

And, though, I'm not always be right...

...my future is still bright...

People always ask me,

"What is going on? You seem to be confused or amused, Everything alright?"

It's harder for to me to say every day and night...

...that my life is just a maze, the journey I won't fight...

Now, I'm the definition of the misconception

The one you always lean when you need reflection

But, still, I'm tossed aside when you don't need protection...

...I know I'm not a victim, but you're not higher...

...So if you stand there... you'll only fuel my ire...

I'd never cry to you

That should say something, but you're interrupting again...

What is that you want?

I can just no longer be here...

...it's time for me to have another dream you can haunt...

What is going on? Is everything alright?

I'm being here talking to someone who isn't there...

Now, is this because I'm the definition of the misconception?

The one you'll always lean when you need reflection

But, I'm just tossed aside when you don't need protection...

...I'm not a victim, but you're not higher...

...So if you stand there... you'll just fuel my ire...

Emotion-filled Shimmer

When I look back on the winding road...
...in the fog that is my mind...
You asked me how we got here...
...and I thought of it in rhyme...

For years, my life was a burden...
...massive weights upon my shoulders...
'Til I realized who my friends were...
...those masses turned to pebbles from giant boulders...

Amongst the carnage left from problems...
...of which I had no control...
I became a better person...
...from the strengthening of the soul...
And, although I was a stronger person...
...that didn't matter much to most...
They treated me almost lesser...
...almost all the new friends turned to ghosts...

More carniage, more danger, more cold and lonely nights...
...more sadness, more madness, more time for me to write...

When I was filling my self-loathing...
...out of the blue came someone new...
...with a brilliant mind and stunning looks...
...for the first time, I knew I'd make it through...

Out of the darkness came a shining light...
...and from the shimmer there came you...
With an open mind and open ears...
...my being felt renewed...

It's only the beginning of the path sundrenched with light...
...and, though, this part seems all too perfect...
...there's more darkness still in sight...
We cannot let future dictate what could happen in the now...
...this relationship will never perish...
...that's my promise, that's my vow...

How long must I wait?

Spin you around and reel me in...
It's hard to keep track of the path we've been...
We've been over it once, we've been over it twice...
We've been running in circles, no real ending suffice

It's hard to go forward,
When you're standing there still...
Even harder to say,
When the dream is impossible to fulfill...
My mouth is agape,
Waiting for the right words to come...
Lord knows, I can't say them now,
The time has past all too long ago.

What do you do when the train's already past?
How long do you wait there; how long do you stand?
I know I missed the 11:02, but I'll keep pacing here waiting...
...not knowing quite what to do

My chance was moment in time long ago
Waiting in the past, my current loves will outgrow...
...the waiting and endless of my wandering mind...
...the breaking and tearing of my too unique kind...

I search in the mirror and in there I know
The past of the future I will never bestow

...and never a sliver... and never a chance...
...and never a spell to awaken my trance...

It's time to leave this station, my ride is all but gone...
...time to find another transport from which my love will be drawn...

Sooner or Later...

Sooner or Later...
Category: Writing and Poetry

These moments are hailing in sandstorms…

…sooner or later the choices are mine…
To cover and hide from the fright of the norm…
…or embrace, open armed, the silence of the light

Bright eyed and blue jeaned…

…standing in the doorway…

…contemplating the reality of their next step…

In sightlines for a moment…

…but a fixture in your memory for days…

…Don't kick yourself, child…

…if it was meant to be, one of you would've made the move…

These moments are forever dripping from the heavens…

…you chance to escape the doldrums of your world and face the Earth anew…

…sooner or later the choices are mine…

For now, not casting a vote allows me to breathe…

Nose buried deep inside the binding of the book…
…as if to digest and retain every last image of information…

Sacred are the words that cling to the paper…

…praise be the pen, God's instrument from the soul…

…forever mightier than the sword…

These moments are a stomach punch to the heart…

…debilitating to the core…

The option was mine to take, but I'll forever keep my dreams inside my being…

…sooner or later the choices are mine…

The mantra from the head convincing my soul…

…when I should have known all along that the choices were always mine to take…

She can't make it hard enough for me...

…it's hard enough for me to believe I shot…
It was already my choice before I woke from my morning slumber…

…I chose to be afraid, to be timid, to not show my true feelings… my true self…

…I chose to let my choices control my demeanor, control my thoughts…

I chose to live the dreams in my head and cast reality aside…
…and when I finally decided to take that chance...

…to not be afraid, to not be timid and show you who I was…
…the moment was gone… forever

And again I'm not left unnoticed…

…I'm left again to my choices…

Pleading Prayer

I'm motionless and mindless

Watching my world float beyond my sightlines

There's not a wish in the universe under my control

...but I walk these steps as if I'm letting everyone down

I'm tragic and hopeless

Begging all too often for forgiveness

Apologizing every moment for the circumstances of fate

When I'll never see a handshake when the victory pulls through

I'm a melodic voice of a reason

Singing the sirens song from treason

My number is always on call

...and if you shall fall...

...I'll be on my way tuning my strings...

Whether it is known or not,

The people I love prey inability to control my willingness to be a hero

...a martyr, a saint...

I've realized it all comes down to one thing in this world

...and it's what makes us the most human

When it comes down to it,

All we want is to love and be loved...

...nothing else matters...

And, baby, if you have that opportunity...

...you do everything you can to make it work...

Never be afraid to feel...

...or to say how you feel...

...because once you stop doing that, it's over...

...and gone forever...

Be as honest as you can and things will be alright.

Trying to make things work for other people,

Is just about a million times worse than lying to yourself...

...and it hurts two million times worse, too...

In the end, you'll know what's right,

But it's hard to follow through...

So, think a moment and search your heart...

...and it will tell you exactly what to do

Shallow End Survailence

My lines re real
The words are see-through
My verse is spoken
No one can hear the words
Written in a hanger
Purgatory of the soul
Lost without its meaning
Here in the nothingness found its home

This is where I strum my air guitar

What's so funny about decision making?
Why do you make me make the choices in my mind?
Am I, to you, a burden...
...places in the chest when you are done?
Forget tomorrow, fellas, the game starts tonight.
When you're in the locker toom, I'm on the bench...
...'til I get my chance to make a play

Solo into closing

My fate has yet to find me, yet
...but I'm on the chosen path...
Can join me on the karmic team...
...where the world will will see our laugh

Liquid Lethargy

"It's wet out there today!"
Oh, really? Didn't notice...

People fleeing from the gentle old man's tears
As if, they were a young kid avoiding lava
Not a soul wandering the streets today
Everyone's path etched in their conscious

I've been staring out the window for hours
All to afraid to make my move against the tyranny of the rain
It laughs at me as I plot my next step
...Knowing no matter what I do it will win...

I wonder if gazing into the rain is a form of hypnosis
I can wait here a whole 'nother day, if I need to, for I'm as calm as the late evening breeze

There's nothing like a rainy day
Most days I'm asleep by nightfall, but this day, you will not keep me now
Oh no!

I'm waiting for a message
...from the subconscious in my mind
I got the hint that it was urgent, but it's taking its sweet time
Maybe that's why it is raining, so I wouldn't miss the call
Or maybe I have to find it staring through the see-through wall

What Can I Say?

Listen... what can I say?
My words and my actions have been heard despite all too many distractions
When everything I say and everything I do...
...feels like I have the weight of our world resting on what I say or do next

Sometimes I get tired of being required...
...of acting their fantasties everytime they're inspired...
I'll pretend that I'm hearing them...
...pretend that I understand...
...and then act out they're beck and call, leading me to insanity...

It was not long ago, when I just understood...
...what I wanted was inside of me...
...not in any of their coulds or their shoulds...

I lay down in the moonlight and I smile in delight...
For my choices have been made for me...
...other voices out of sight...
Tomorrow I will see you...
...translucent in the light...
I will tell you of my burdens, then you will chuckle out of spite...

The things that people tell me are the things I should have known...
The fact I didn't act on them is the reason I'm alone...

But, what can I say?

What can I say to make that all go away...
...and make you here to stay?

Winnie Cooper Revisited

Terminal G in Anytown, Global World...
...waiting for your craft to touch down...
...I'd be just as surprised if it was a plane or halo cloud that landed...
...you've been a ghost my mind for ages...

There's a part of me, hun, that sees you as a figment of my imagination...
...a translucent memory... slowly fading from my soul...
But, there's a part of me, hun, that sees you every waking second of the day...
...able to come out and play at a moments notice...

I sit here in the quiet of the choas that surrounds this hanger...
...screaming children, running businessmen, parting couples...
And I'm here trying to make sense of the events that shaped our lives...
...and led us now to where we are...
Only been here for a moment; but the heart doesn't keep track of time...
...but, hun, eight years has been a minute and a decade, all the same...

Yet, as I sit here, it feels like I can write a movie... or a book...
...or a series, Season Five
When we were so young, we knew those were the best days of our lives...
...but we never took the bait, let the tackle dangle for life...

The silver glider reaches home, as I stand to greet you at the gate...
...Eight years feels like a second now, hesitation is the furthers action from my mind...
Terminal G is finally exiting now, the passengers rushing towards the light...
...You see me first and drop your bags, we have finally made the catch...

We talked each week for all these years, so not a secret kept on either end...
...when the embrace is broken, and take a step back, I introduce you to my wife...
...and to my daughter, who just turned three...
...we all stand together in abstracted glee...

Yet, as we all walk to my car...
...me and you, hun, look towards the stars...
...to think what could have, should have been...
...Me, as your Kevin... and You, as my Winnie...

Sometimes the fairytale isn't told how everyone wishes it could have gone...
...with sunshines and rainbows and pots of gold...

That night, as I lay under my sheets...
...my mind thinks back to what would have been...
...if we realized it sooner... or realized it better...
...but I know in my heart Winnie so-and-so, wasn't right...

...best friends, best friends forever...

Looking for the other half of my pendant...

Home is where you're happy.
And where your deepest fantasies can be fulfilled.
Where you can chill out with your buddies,
...then stay in with your girl.
It's where your heart gets filled,
...from a long day hard at work...
Where the things are not quite your own...
...they're yours and your girl's both.

Home is where the heart is.
Or so the story goes...
...it's not a true place in the world...
Just a palace in your mind.
Home is not building...
...or a person... or a thing...
Home is where you want it...
...no where else for you to be.

I'm ageless now and trying to find my home place in the world...
I'm looking for a city or so, or some place to store my things...
I don't know what I'm looking for, so the search is quite a farse...
...but when I find it, I will know it, it will hit me in the face.

The search is never ending now... men with flashlights out for days
I'll stop looking tomorrow... then I'll see my fate in stars.
Home is a scary thing, if you don't know where to look.
I had it once, but now it's gone... my heart is searching for its whole.

Home is quite a simple thing...
And, for that matter, so is love...
For all we do and all we say,
We look for our other half to make us whole...

Dishonesty

Dishonesty.
Is such a lonely word.
Whether it is now or it's later...
You'll be the lonliest one on the block.

It's hard to build a friendship...
...on foundations build of foam...
...on bases built of facts...
...that can't facilitate a home..
People make excuses for your actions, for your lies...
...yet, dishonesty's a virtue, to which for all it shall apply

I show the scars of a young man scorn...
...before he saw the facts and became reborn...
But sad for me, when you appear I see...
...a man all too deeply rooted in dishonesty

Everytime I take a step these days...
...everytime I take a pulse...
I show a fear and shallow haze...
...that you turned into an impulse...
Dishonesty can rule the world...
...if we let the ones we love go unchecked...
But eventually you reach the time...
...when the words I say go past sublime...
...into a state of sad despair...
...into a state of 'I don't care'...

And here you leave me with a choice...
...because I know you won't hear me with my voice...
Is it time for me to pack and leave...
...or will you fin-a-lly believe...
...that you are worth it naturally...
with the need to lie and deceive...
...to be the man we know you can...
...to be the man whose lust can span...?

I cannot wait a second more...
...for my heart can't take to see the score...
When the world will show for all too see...
...people love you more for your dishonesty.

It hurts I know, but I'm ok...
My karma will find me some other way...

I'm chasing myself in my dreams...

I'm chasing myself in my dreams...
...as I walk down the same dim lightened street...
Away from the dreams from my future...
...away from the dreams of my past...

I'm chasing myself in my dreams...
...and I'm running as fast as I can...
For the chance to ask myself a question...
...but the question's outside of my head...

I'm chasing myself in my dreams...
...because I'm too scared to do it awake.
Too scared to believe in my future...
...too scared to confront my past...

I'm chasing myself in my dreams...
...that's the time I listen to myself...
I can try to make up for the burdens I've caused...
...I can remake the conditions I've felled.

I'm chasing myself in my dreams...
...for I am so scared of being alive...
Alive means responsibility...
...but I face my chores with an order of sleep...

I'm so scared of being alive...
Having to make choices
Having to trust
Having to build a home
...and a house... with a job... for your family
Having to be more than yourself

I'm so scared of being alive...
...because living as a child's so easy.
I can go out and play...
...and rhyme every day...
Then tomorrow go do that again.

I'm chasing myself in my dreams
But I'm not walking alone in the clouds...
...there's a man, and a gal, and they're dancing around...
...as I smile awake in my dreams...

I'm chasing myself in my dreams...
...to tell myself things are ok...
Where I am now, is not where I'll end up...
...and in the end things are ok...

I'm chasing myself in my dreams...
...and I have finally flagged the man down...
He looks at me in awe, and puts out his claw...
...as we embrace before dark becomes dawn...

I look myself in the eyes... literally, so is the case...
And I run down my thoughts... and my fears and my warts...
As myself listens to every ideal...

After I laid it all down, we talked for a while...
...until we gave up, and both left with a smile...
For we both understood, what that he couldn't get through...

...I'd have to figure it out on my own...

I watch myself dreaming in dreams...
...when real life is not what it seems...
And though it's only a thought,
...real awakenings are sought...

So, I'm still chasing myself in my dreams...

When the love is still young...

Once and over, tried and true...
...oh, the things I'd do for you...
From early morning to the pearly gates...
...A request from you, I shalln't hesitate...

I wanted to take you on a date...
...but my head and heart wouldn't cooperate...
Yet, when I finally found the strength to speak...
...I knew there was no cause for being meek...

The beginning leads to love anew...
The fluttering hearts of the morning dew...
When everyone will say, "Their love outgrew"
You should always know, I'll never tire of you...

Girl, I can make you happy...
...and let our fate roll through...
I'll make sure that the world will never unnerve you...

Hun, I'll hold you closer than I did at the start...
...so, you'll trust that you're my sweetheart...

Sunset in Paradise, New Yorkifornia

Why am I afraid of the feelings in my heart?
If I can't get them out, I can lose them before we start
I must tell you now, though, it may be too soon
I wish you were mine to hold beneath the moon

Every second that I see you...
Every moment that we share...
I wonder if you think of me...
When I'm not exactly there...

Why do you haunt me in my dreams...
Every day and every night?...
So, when I found those words to tell you...
Why did I make it such a fight?

Believe what you want to
There's nothing I could do to stop you
I can't offer you the world, but I can promise you the stars
If we could be together, the future would be ours

I wrote this as a ploy one day
So, you couldn't take my heart away
But now playing isn't all that fun
It just ends up hurting everyone

Tomorrow morning I will see the sun
And ask him for some courage
For when the moon comes out to play
You'll finally be mine on that special day

Flowing Hearts

Remnants of a new society
Taking all our hard earned property
Showing the world their new philosophy
Destroying tyranny of the old monopoly

I believe in true monogamy
Fraying eyes will lead to bigotry
Love for all has not be lost on me
Yet my one true heart has not been shown to see

Am I a struggling soul for all eternity?
Missing prts for me to wholy be
The point of life is to live uncertainly
...until the world shows you your perfect destiny...

"Unusually writing of DKNY?"

Me... or the thought of me?

I like picture frames... but they symbolize borders. You're blocking everything in the outside in world beyond the walls of where you want to be. Rememberance of times held dear... a time capsule made for all to see. When time stands still I'll be drinking a cup of tea with my friend Bea... trice.

Me... or the thought of me?

Vivo en Ma-ho-pac. I'm free in the world... but where am I now? Am I here where you need me to be... or would that really need be where I need to be?

Me... or the thought of me?

I'm here as part of your side... standing here waiting for my role in the game. Hey, Coach... is it my turn now? Been ready for all time now... waiting for you is the past.

Me... or the thought of me?

Lovely brown locks now of gold shining luster... the thought of you now makes my heart float and fluster. It's cold out tonight, but as the stars shine so bright, don't give any light as you walk into my sight.

Me... or the thought of me?

Baby, you're a bitch... and I hate your guts. I wish I had something more heart-felt and romantic, but you suck so much I go back to the Titanic. You're hateful to a tee, you remind me of a bee... You reach into a flower, why do I end up with the thorn?

You... or the thought of you?

The thought of you makes me sick, sweetheart... or should I say, 'YOU'RE A PRICK!!' What's the deal with your hastiness towards me? I decided that I'm finally gonna go... 'I'M GONNA DO IT!! You'll find me in Kokomo!'

Baby, what's left for me to say right now? Actually, it's out of place, Kristina's afraid of clowns... Darling, my dear, I had to get that off my chest... I'm sorry to say, I'm definitely the best...

Sooooooo, you can't have me... The best of me is yet to come... all that's left for you is the thought of me...

The End...?

The Singing Hopeless Man

Hey baby, good morning. How nice of you to bare your soul. The night had hardly started when you all too soon departed... yet somehow you woke in my arms.

Hey baby, how nice of you to share the song. It's great to know what's on your mind, to put what's happened far behind. You said you couldn't find the words to explain the happenings absurd... but when you couldn't find your thoughts to say, I understood you anyway.

Hey baby, how are you today? What's on your mind? What's in your heart? What's happened since the sun has turned to dark.

Oh, deary, what are you doing now? Did you still have your heart set on the trip to see the clowns? It's been a while since we saw those guys... and all too long since those last goodbyes.

Dear Daisy, I hope this finds you well. Last time we spoke I saw the sun rise as your door slammed me in the face. Again my heart got in the way as I did not know exactly what to say... If I had a power under my control, I would take back what I stammered so, when I was gone and told to go... Next time I write I promise you that more than promises I can do...

Baby, this is the last song I could ever write about our 'love' that fateful night when the future seemed to begin to change as we both began to search for blame. The truth is I would never start to build a love within my heart... without a cause, without a reason... It's hard to believe it's the change of season. My love for you began to grow when facts were laid I did not know. I fell in love with the role they wrote for you... and you played your part to a 'T'. You did not have a simple clue, what was this poor boy supposed to do?... This time it's my heart that's crying for 'line'. What has happened between us is in the past... why couldn't that present forever last? What we could had might've been the best we have hoped for until we rest... But I still write you all the same, I hope this letter finds you well...

...oh wait... wish my my brother the best as well.

Rhyming Rhetoric

Sometime I think... "Will this last forever?"
With sleepless nights... and endless days...
I'm the foolish one... but when it's said and done...
Will I keep standing here... waiting for you to appear...
I'm the foolish one... and forget what I do...

My time like this is over...
I'm not seventeen...
I wipe my hands clean...
Won't last for too much longer...
...take what you can to get stronger...
'Cuz I'm foolish one...
...time for you to steal what you can grab...

So tired of being romantic...
...tired being romantic...
Time to be the maverick...
...and show the world...

That this feeling won't last forever...
...who I was just hit the lever...

And it's time to know...
...where ever you may go...
That you had this soul...
...treated like a hellhole...
Not much left to say...
...so it's time for me to roll...

My time like this is over...
I'm not seventeen...
I wipe my hands clean...
Won't last for too much longer...
...take what you can to get stronger...
'Cuz I'm foolish one...
...time for you to steal what you can grab...

Can't be bitter 'cuz I let myself down...
A man can only live for so long with his heart on his sleeve...
...and when it's on your sleeve...
...it's not hard to believe...
...that I was seventeen...
...and you could steal what you could grab...

You're My Heart

As I reflect upon the days we saw...
...laying beachside by the moon and shore...
...I promised you that I'd do everything...

...that it took....

...'til I wasn't the fool, that you met those years ago...
...when all that we fought was about the big pillow...
...I dream of you every time the spring breeze blows...
...'cuz, Sweets, you're my heart...

When I first saw you I was so alone...
...lost and tired, broken to the bone...
You promised me that you'd do everything...

...that it took...

...'til I was back on my feet, and one you could adore...
...when you finally said, "I don't mind it if you snore"...
...you dreamt of me everytime you heard the score...

...'til this day, Sweets, you're my heart...

Coming next week, you'll be dressed in white...
...walking slowly with father's arm...
...and at the end the there'll be a man in black...

...but I can't help but think, that you feel it's a mistake...
...holding his hand, will you look for an escape?...
...when it comes time to say those two simple words...

...remember, Sweets, you're my heart...

...you're my heart...
...you're my heart...

...Sweets, you're my heart...

Dream Sequence

I'm not here to face the future...
I have seen it through the past
I'm too scared to make you my present...
I'm afraid to see you go

I saw you in a dream I had...
Telling me of my woes
You told me of the fears I had...
The ones I've never shown

And in that dream I saw you...
...It still plays in my mind...
You told me of the fears you had...
Not one diff'rent from mine...

Yet still inside the dream I've had...
...and the words we shared aloud...
I found out what I had to hear
...and what I had to do...

'One man don't make an army
But I'm not here to fight a war
Please just take what I can give you...
...Don't tear my heart out on the floor...'

I cried the night I told you...
...of the dream we shared, out loud
I hung my head expecting...
...the noose, rejection, never came

Those four lines were unscripted,
As I held you in my arms...
...And cling, you would forever...
Unwritten love was ours

Q+A? Time to Dream Away

What happened to our future?
What happened to our past?
What happened to our present?
Where did it go so fast?

What happened to your boyfriend?
...the one you left me for?
What happened to your best friend?
...the one you called a whore?

When did you decide to call me?
Where were you when you did?
What prompted you to call me?
...was it my fault that you hid?

My life feels like a circle
I've seen this path before
The chance to return to it
Is not a chance to score

I fell for you not long ago
I gave to you my heart
But time was a virtue you did not need
To tear my love apart

How did you move on without me?
Who comforted you at night?
Were they not quite what you needed?
...or was I just an after thought?

My eyes are traveling bloodshot
Have not seen a pillow; not for days
My minds been trying to tell me
In about a hundred million ways

Should I stay or should I go?
Has that decision already been made?
Is that choice yet mine to choose?
...do I even have you to lose?

I figured out not long ago
You were not right for me
But the head cannot lie to the heart
For me, it's back to the start

Penance

I believe in me...
I believe in you...
Yet, I won't let you control what I do...

Whatever I say...
Whatever the words...

All I really mean...
Is that I love you...

Meaning...

My name, it doesn't matter...
...because I life a life of hope
I wake up every morning...
...I write a brand new song

...And then I fall asleep again...
...the whole day starts a new
Again a fall asleep again...
...and there's nothing I can do...

...These days it doesn't matter living hopelessness

I awoke this morning...
...and saw a man I didn't know
He was playing a string insrtument...
...but he didn't have his bow

So, he sat there in the corner...
...and played his fingers to the bone
And as he sat there in the corner...
...I pondered the great unknown...

...Still I lay here without meaning or desirement

I live a life in which I see...
...the same things every day
The same tree blowing in the wind...
...the same cat meowing by

And in a haste I drive by...
...many exits past my home
And in a haste I drive by...
...I've finally found my home...

...This time I control how I live forevermore...

One morning I awoken....
...to a girl I've seen before
Regret never had a chance...
...because I finally took a chance...

I walked into the other room...
...I picked our child up
...And as I walked into the other room...
...my life was filled with hope...

...And life as the immortal fool will dissapate...

As I Wish...

If things were to go as I wish,
My life would soon cease to exist
For night and day and day and night,
Only appear when you see the light.

If all my dreams were to come true,
You'd somehow know that I loved you
...And we'd share good times that all would see,
Yet the only doubts would be in me

If I had a magic genie or I held the magic lamp,
I have a feeling that my virtues would fall prey to the overt trap.

If I had the chance to make you mine,
Without the work of love and time
Your love for me would misaligned
...And I would have to write a poem, again, where all the last lines rhymed.

If things were to go as I wish,
I think I'd live a life like this
Where skies are blue...
...and tears are, too
...And life had repercussions from all the things I do

Here, I sit and wait and wait...
Waiting for my greatest mistake...
For when I see a world of power and grandeur...
The life as I wish, would never be ensured.

Starting Line Mist

Tell me tomorrow's never coming
And I'll take you to the start
To the place where there are no questions
In the matter of the heart

Frozen here forever
Purtagory is my home
Heaven is a virtue
Where my feet will never roam

I can feel the cold deep inside my skin
Part of the places I have never been
And so it goes back to the heart
Where the beginning ends... back to the start

I thought my life was so surreal
A journey set through past ordeals
The purpose shown to be revealed...

Tomorrow has seen better days
The sunset came a million ways
But the sun will rise beyond my days
In so many more than a million ways
See past the light and through the haze...
Betray the heart and you shall always pay