The Team Player

In a world of noises
All I pretend to hear is silence
I'm no better than the rest

I don't know who I am
Or where I wish to be
But I'm better
Inside I know I'm better

But we all have fears
We bury deep inside
We'd all be so much better
If we'd just raise our eyes
Look past the tears and anguish
Let our true selves shine
We're all in this together
There's no more place to hide

We all have fences and defenses
'Cause we're scared to show
Our face behind the curtain
And all the things we know
Eventually, we're judged
By a jury of peers
Who just look out for themselves
It's been the same for years

But we all have fears
We bury deep inside
We'd all be so much better
If we'd just raise our eyes
Look past the tears and anguish
Let our true selves shine
We're all in this together
There's no more place to hide

I know I can't keep waiting
Wasting time; procrastinating
The team won't face the music
I'll let the music let me choose it
It's a smokeless slag
Or a Root Beer Rag
It's my drug
And I choose to abuse it

The Islander

Busy sidewalks, crowded streets
Lonely pathways full of padded feets

There's a gentle buzzing of a stirring awe
Listening to people voicing all the shit they saw

In the world there is a place
With a single, solitary face
They live alone, they thrive alone
Which is fine for them, it is their home

There's too much pressure in the world
To be like others, no oysters or pearls
Each given from the gods of the sky
Are stolen by others, you'll never know why

So, each day I dream of the solitary face
They might as well be living in the depths of outer space
They know the world in which the live,
Happy as hell, there's no pressure to give.
Spending mornings beach side, embracing the waves
Thoughtless in moonlight, there's no electronics to crave

The melody of functionality is the tune that they play
But if they could trade lives with mine, I doubt they would stay

The injustice of this world is the uncertainty of anything
There is no perfection, and that's fine...
But there's certainly a bottom to the bottomless mine

The Islander dreams of seeing just one other face...
The beauty of life is that my dream is for never-ending space

Life Mending

Love is all you need...

Always look at the bright side of life...

Here comes the sun...

No standing.

The most powerful statements are the ones that use the fewest words
So, why must I employ the never ending sililoquy?
What am I trying to prove?

"I'm well-read, so please be in awe of the useless shit I say!"

God, I can be so pretentious.
...when I want to be...
...which seems to happen more and more often...

"You haven't seen the Godfather?! Or Magnolia?!
...let me tell you minor plot details to let me seem so cultured!"

Why am I showing off?
It's not like I have all that much to showoff, anyways.
I listen to music, I play video games, I watch porn...
...oh, you must be so impressed.
I'm so fucking normal it sickens me,
But for some reason, I'm trying to show the world I'm unique.
That I'm special.

"I think I'm unique; I believe in fate...
...what I give into the world will some day find me..."

Fuck me.

"I believe..."

Believe in what?
Myself?
No.
Other people?
Fuck that.

Then what exactly do you believe in, You hot-air piece of shit?

"I believe there has to be more than this...
...if I didn't I wouldn't get through the day"

But what if there isn't anything beyond this?
What the fuck are you doing?
Waiting for the next life or waiting for this life to show the world to you...
...buddy, they ain't gonna happen.
You gotta make shit happen or you're just going to grow old...
...grow bitter...
...and you'll still be waiting...
...forever...
....for the world, whatever that is, to show itself to you...

In the end all that really matters are the things that truly matter to you...
...and to be honest, I don't want that to be a few sports teams and musicians
I want to share myself with people who I truly care about...

"But I already to, I have best friends and family an..."

So fucking what.
You take them for granted right now.
You think they matter to you, but you take them for granted and you're alone

"Maybe you're right..."

Fuck yeah, I'm right.
Show people they matter.
...ignoring them and do your own shit won't show them you care...

"But I do care..."

Show them.
Show yourself!

I was wrong before...
The most powerful statements aren't the ones that use the fewest words...
...they're the ones that use no words at all

Destiny Defined

I live my life full of passion and vigor
...the feelings inside me will not leave me bitter
I'm tired of hearing all your meaningless words
With you thinking your better, you're just ignorant fools
My life is beyond you, yet you still try to find me
…you're ignorant passion is your drive to defy me

My head is a minefield, the path is amiss
I'm stumbling my way through the finite abyss
It hurts me inside to think of all that I gave
But I feel better now, I'm no longer enslaved…

…by the misery I felt every long night…
The anguish I felt putting out every fight…
Distracting my conquest of finding the light…
The Grail is near, I am all too sincere…
I envision the day when the bright shine appears…

…And keep me there…
…Just keep me there…
…Keep me there…

I'm tired every instant of every moment
I'm worn from the weight of your anger
Misplaced, though it is…
…you're making it my biz
It's no longer a thought in my heart

I live my life full of passion and vigor
...the feelings inside me will not leave me bitter
I'm tired of hearing all your meaningless words
With you thinking your better, you're just ignorant fools
My life is beyond you, yet you still try to find me
…you're ignorant passion is your drive to defy me

I envision a scene in the peace of the day
Tranquil and laying, in the place I could stay
And I talk to the Gods or embrace the skies
I no longer live by your transient lies
I've found my place…
…the past behind me erased
I am one with the light…
…my story ended right…

There's no heart without a beat to it

There's no heart without a beat to it

I know
What I don't want to know
And will face
What I will not embrace
Because I'm scared to know
What I don't want to know
I'm fighting myself…

I see
The better part of me
Using all the tools
And making all the rules
I'm losing myself…

I lost you
You weren't mine to lose
But still I, I can't face the news
My life is in a daze
A momentary phase

And yet I still believe
That all I really need
Is a lover…

…wherever you are…

There's no heart without a beat to it
The strength within me to commit
I don't know what I need to fit…

I'm gonna be the one in the world…
…who'll figure out to live happily

Songbird

Your eyes, they lie.
To tell the story of the lives we once knew.
They told me, I listened…
For me, they no longer glisten.

I shared the night with who I love.
Embracing deeply with the sky above.
I quest the heavens for a reason…
…the answers will come with the change of the season…

It can be funny how things go sometimes…
…Only finding answers, when I sing in rhymes…
Well, this songbird has been quiet for way too long…
…Now, I can escape this mess and find where I belong.

It's tough to hold on.
It's hard to stay strong.
It's impossible to believe, if you never belonged.

So, why am I here?
Why did I let this happen?
If you knew what I was going though…
…you'd probably be laughing.

I sit in silence, and all I hear…
…is the faint sound of bagpipes…
The one thing I fear.
You hardly hear lancashires unless there is terrible news…
But I can feel eternal beauty, in how they're playing the blues

It can be funny how things go sometimes…
…Only finding answers, when I sing in rhymes…
Well, this songbird has been quiet for way too long…
…Now, I can escape this mess… and find where I belong.

I look to the oceans and all I see…
…is a never-ending wave of uncertainty.
Forever I was scared to feel the tides…
…Until I finally exposed where my fear resides.
Without you, I can live my dreams…
…wherever they may be, along a certain seam.

We could have shared our lives together,
And it would have turned out fine.
But fine is not the way to live,
I have to find a true love that is mine.

Each day may last forever, feeling way too long…
Unless you have the courage, to find, where you belong…

It can be funny how things go sometimes…
…I can only find answers, when I sing in rhymes…
Well, this songbird has been quiet for way too long…
…Now, I can escape this mess and find where I belong.

Unchained Fidelity

I have to tell you
What I need to say
I'm know it's not
What you need to hear
But when I'm asked
Who matters most
Where once was you
Here, now, it's not

Hey there, Angel
The one I love
I can't keep fighting
With one battered glove
You've had the chance
To make me yours
I was out there everyday
But when I'm tired
I lose the will
No chance to make it real

Out of chances
Out of words
Out of patience
Following your seconds and thirds
I've found my place
Inside the world
Where I'm embracing an ocean
Instead of clinging to your curves
Don't want to hear you
When you have to say
That I am your landscape
And then you blow me away

I found a shiny new penny
On my new path to work today
She loves how I see the skies
She never has to tell me lies
She sees for who I aim to be
And how I travel down the path
Makes me sad how much I spent on you
When this new love will always last

Shadow

An old soul has a tough time seeing the minutia of minute
Every moment preceeds the next, they'll never see the wonders of today
'All my life...' has no meaning in our world
The only time is now, the only future's in the past

It's hard to find happiness when you don't allow it to exsist
Wishing to your television will only show you what you've missed
There is no magic potion, there has never been a quick-fix
The fear that lies within you is not easy to resist

You covet your desire for a simple, perfect world
Where there's only up, there is no down
Each frown's been turned upside-down

Instead of facing this imperfect world with your chin held towards the sky
It's so much easier curled into a ball, where you pray to be shown the door...

This life isn't perfect, baby
There's no prophecy to be fulfilled...
Right now, it's only you and me...
I just can't stand to fight your ambiguity

Instead of marching to the beat, you've been plodding towards the side
Anxious for someone to save you from yourself...
You've been taking your sweet time...
Yet, here I am, I've been combative towards your nature
...thought I scored a knockdown in the fifth...
But you're the one not in the ring
You needed someone to face your tiff

Sweetheart, I'm beyond being your patsy...
I've given you my all
If you're too scared to hit the ring, it's now your lifetime to dismiss

I've been wearing thin from protecting you from yourself
But, honey, you made me realize that you're no old soul
...you're just a shadow...
All you'll ever be is just an unseen vision in the wind...

Clean Slate (The Never Ending Wait...)

It's been a while,
It's been too long...
It's been quite I while since I sang my song...
I've been hiding in the present,
Of a mundane daily life...
Living each day as it were the first,
The first day of a new awakened soul

The freshness of the newness is slowly wearing thin
Eventually I'll find my road,
And laugh at the track I've been...
Methodically the music replays the same tunes in my head...
The new road leads to new paths, I'll find better prose instead

It's been too long and I can feel the rust of extensively sitting still
There's a frustration in the waiting of the melding of the whole
Each day I wake up thinking maybe waiting ain't for me...
But each night when I touch down to sleep, my courage I cannot see

I need a new song, a new job, a new dream, a new car, a new girl, a new team, some new shoes, a new team...

A clean slate is all I need to escape the never ending wait...
...that is my life, that is my job, that are my dreams, have been my girls...

For all I'll say... and for all the smiles I pretend...
For all the jokes I tell... and for all the wishes I extend...

When it matters most, all I'll ever need...

A clean slate...
...is all I'll ever need...
...to escape the never ending wait...

My List of Virtues...

I believe in eternal life, beyond the world we know…
…it helps to make me bitter, to know that the being is greater than this world

I believe in idealism of the mind and of the soul…
…there is a way to combine both, if I knew how, I'd finally be whole…

I believe people can communicate with people who have passed…
…for us to express out love and feelings…
…for them to let us know they're still here…

I believe in honesty as a way to cleanse the heart…
…compassion for people who lie, or hold things in, will always lead to pain…

I believe in give and take, the only real way to make a friend…
…both people need to be as close to equal or soon the friendship will collapse…

I believe in karma, rather, bringing good deeds to the world…
…for every good deed in the world, a hundred bad deeds take hold of it…
…an insurmountable number, it is not…
…it can be chipped away by generations…

I believe in creation, as a way to alleviate the mind…
A simple line, in any form, exposes a person's soul for the entire world to see…

I believe in selective fate, certain things always above what we can't control…
…"Everything happens for a reason," is a quote I've come to love…
…sometimes there are ways to fix the plan, other times there are not…
…when things get beyond your skeletal borders, it's best to have faith in fate…

I believe in baseball, the colors and sounds infiltrate my soul…
…a simple game of skill will compel me until the day I die…
…but a day beneath the fluorescent nighttime summer sky is all I need to make me cry…

Most of all, I do believe, that sharing all things faithfully
…to all the people who matter most, to a new found friend or a holy ghost…

The best gift anyone could ever give is to give their world all they have to give…

Life and Death: An excercise in frustration

Auditory silence in a world filled with flaws
Be careful of your footsteps, you never know who they'll impact
Everyday I find it more and more difficult to fight off indifferent; to fight off apathy
When it feels like you're the only one fighting for change
Four billion versus one is a battle you will always lose

I need a break from the war inside my mind
My will to change the world is losing to the ills of confronting the norm
For better, for worse, this is all my world will ever know
Acceptance scared me more than isolation; my mind in apathy is a soul that's long and gone

You'll find me with a smile when I hear things I may not want to hear
People refuting what I believe in only strengthens my resolve
I fight my battles with graphite or the melodic sounds of whispers
The days of me punching my way to victory went out the way of wonder

Once capricious in youth, I'm now steadfast in my mid-life...

I'm no longer afraid of my mortality, I embrace it everyday
Being the edge of the circle I belong to is a struggle everyday
The more I'm trying to find my place, the more I realize I should make my place in the world
My own shot to make a difference, my only chance to give myself a dream

I see myself enjoying the quiet in my mind
Before I lose my breakthrough and lose compassion for all-time
I'm not sure what I'm looking through, or what I'm trying to find
I just hope that when I find it...
...I'll be ready, I'll be fine...

My body wishes for a day without a cause for strife
To live a day amongst the earth without it meaning my whole life
Living in the instant, the moment now within the world, has never been my strong point
I know I'll have to make it soon, before the light passes me by

The Words That Can't Be Said...

Grey matters most...
...in a world without hope
Indifference rules with an iron fist...
...the future heights tempered through a lifeless sky...

Haven't seen the sun for years...
I'm not sure I ever have...
...I know my place in the charcoal world...
...Find me as I try for the golden dream...

Neverending apathy encloses the life we known...
Existence sans a royality is an existence sans a diety...
With no one looking down on us...
...then no one's looking forward...
We're closing in on finality...
...our reality for things won't be known...

I wander these streets in darkness...
...of the loneliness of my soul...
On the surface, things are glorious...
...only the shadows show the whole...
It's a story that hasn't been written...
...at least, in my case, not at all...
I wish I could find the author...
...to ask them where to go from here...

There is beauty in the knowledge...
...of things that don't have to be said...
I wish I could tell you...
...but to know, you'll have to read the things that can't be said...