Why Me?

Lindsay, you prayed
You were gonna change this time
But you're getting way behind
Are you gonna change this time?
Be yourself and try…
…this time

Argumentative in the mirror
Doing my best not to see her
Long, and leave your cherub 'cause I miss her
Fine my peace beneath the river

Do you see why I want to be with you?
Avoiding all the boys who are in my crew…
…the hardcore wrecking crew…
There is a million things I want to do with you…

Lindsay, you prayed
You were gonna change this time
But you're getting way behind
Are you gonna change this time?
Be yourself and try…
…this time

Sometimes you seem so overwhelmed…
…by the life you lead…
Scared and sleepless from the things you need
Honey, what do you think this means?
…Lindsay

Lindsay…
Lindsay…
…Lindsay

Ease the Pain

Three or four notes to ease the pain
Combinations of notes are all that's keeping me sane
Wishing you could understand
So we could share the wonders of the pristine land
Traveling the golden road alone
To escape indifference from the chill in my bones

Easing back, feel the click, one two
Sailing vast starship led through the blue
Traveling broken lines lead the path to home
Escaping the indifference, riding now on my own

Three or four notes build within me the power
To be the creator of vaccines or the Great Ivory Tower
Sum of the parts less than the whole of the body
Nirvana slammed ecstasy felt all out the lobby

Lighting strikes twice, long-lasting music in my head
Inspiration touched inside me from the depths within my bed
Terrorizing soothes the masses easing the stirring in my soul
Ending the quiet fear of sadness, where repetition breaks the mold

Three or four notes sketched beneath the surface
Three or four notes looped along my lips
Auditory stored on my minds ear
Played by the only voice I've shown you

Sing a sonnet to the school of signs
Wearing desperation of n your war-torn sleeves
Repeating the three or four notes to ease the pain
Repeating the three or four notes to keep me sane

Pixilation Station

Eyes are weary
Red eye, black eye
The change before me
One guy, two guy

The empty streets are filled with anger
Tested silence forewarns danger
Yet, footsteps beat the bass line rhythm
Internal rage consumed within them

Compensatory roses are a treat
That we should give for all we meet
Though, we're not to blame for all the woes
Still impossible to fight the endless foes

Fluid dreams are made to prosper
For those who avoid the prim and proper
A balanced reach to play the game
Don't have to follow the masses to be the same

Budding conception as a result of creation
The one and only way for me to reach the nation
Knee-high anger lives the vivid drive
At least it's a feeling, if even a cry

Fluid dreams are made to prosper
For those who avoid the prim and proper
A balanced reach to play the game
Don't have to follow the masses to be the same

My eyes are weary, my vision is blurred
The life that I live are through the thing that I've heard
I'm dying for my words to be heard across the nation
The Pixilation Station is the cause of my frustration

Soul Fuel

Adam is a friend of mine
A man who's lost all hope
Head in the sand, above the clouds
His dreams beneath the surface

Daley is a friend of mine
A smile all she wears
She lives among the drifting clouds
Her heart belongs amongst the shining stars
But she hides it in her sandbox

It's your choice to feel the music
It's your choice to lose control
Let your heart make your decisions
And let your mindset fuel the soul

Put the letters to the paper
Empty your head on to the sheet
Get what's inside you on the outside
Put the pieces to the best

Feel the groove that's in the moment
Let your hips slide to the side
Don't believe what you are told to
Make your inner thoughts the truth

It's your choice to feel the music
It's your choice to lose control
Let your heart make your decisions
And let your mindset fuel the soul

You Say That You're an Angel

You say that you're an angel and that I'm misunderstood
You say I don't accomplish all the things that I should
I'm boring and lazy and I stroll in the snow
The things I learned in grade school are all the things that I know

My indifference is tragic
Like a chain-smoking habit
Skills and motivation are beautiful
But you're either born with it or have it.

I'm impervious to your venom
Yet you refuse to see
You are the only person to have any effect on me

I listen, I smile, I say the right things
You say I look up to the skies to get a view of your wings

You say that you're an angel and that I'm misunderstood
You say I don't accomplish all the things that I should
I'm boring and lazy and I stroll in the snow
The things I learned in grade school are all the things that I know

You know you have a halo
You wear your heart on your sleeve
The fact you think you're perfect isn't hard to believe

I have to make it simple, I got to make it bright…
You say that you're an angel, but that doesn't make you right

Racing

For all the things I'm scared to say…
For all I'm scared to show you…
For not one second does it change,
The simple fact 'I love you'

Your smile turns me red inside,
Your eyes turn me to mush
Your heart is what brings it all around…
How I know you is an art

At times I take things for granted,
Running miles as the world speeds by
But while I'm racing towards my goals to be accomplished,
Know you are always on my mind…
You are always in my heart

It feels like I haven't seen you for ages,
But we're at the very start
We haven't strayed too far from the beginning,
But understand we aren't very far from the end

I need you with me as I struggle now
As I deal with this life I live
Because if I never have you by my side,
This journey is something I'd never want to live

I sit in this airy corner, letting the breeze dictate the action in my head
Letting it tell me how to daydream, how to dream an extra moment with you

It's chilling and dark to no seeming end
Bare with this now, there is light up ahead
And thought it all might seem like a rhythm of doubts…
Let the river of certainty ease them all out

I Will Be Okay, I Will Be Alright...

I've been writing for a while…
…call it my Magnum Opus if you will…
…trying to find the right mix of lives…
…to tell the story of our times…

A million thoughts going through my head…
…probably a billion, if I counted…
But none of them stay with me…
…long enough for me to count them…

There's a scene right near the boat yard…
…as they're kissing in the rain…
Fighting their one last fleeting moment…
…vague enough, but too familiar…

What makes us who we are or what we want to be?
Everything I'm into is everything I want to be or am not…
Am I the unrequited lover or the dork without a clue…
…am I slacker from distance or do I have only eyes for you?

I've been writing for a while…
…not getting anywhere at all…
Not sure where I should have started…
…all too afraid to fall…

Sitting beneath the starry walls
I pick an angel in the ceiling…
"What is the reason…?"
…I pray for an answer when I awaken…

My reality is a fantasy
…of which there is no cure…
I think, right now, I'm fine with that…
…As long as my destiny's secure…

Unbreakable

I can't feel the cold of the winter
…or in the restlessness in your voice
The January chill sends no shivers down my spine

I wear long pants in the summer
…and a great big cowboy hat…
My alabaster skin is impervious to your amorous glow

I cannot be cut by razors or glass…
…I cannot be fazed by your glances so crass…
I will never perish, nor drop to a knee…
…An Unbreakable soulman is all I can be…

Hugs can't confine me…
…I can't feel their love…
I take pans from the oven without any gloves…
Kisses are worthless…
…I'd rather feel nothing…
For at least feeling nothing, I'd know nothing was there…

I wonder if this is how Superman felt…
Despite all the powers had on his Earth…
…he was doomed to be alone…
Forced to see everyone he loved die,
Forced to realize he couldn't save everyone…
…no matter how hard he tried

But I have no powers…
I have no shared pain that can be ours.
I'm unbreakable…
…and it makes me impossible to be yours.

Road to Jericho...

If you want to know the truth
…and I'm not sure you're even asking…
It's that I was really jealous
…that you lived your whole life over-zealous

I can't live my life that way
…and I'm not sure I'd even want to…
Because sometimes you have to let down your walls
…to show the people who you are

If you're looking for an answer…
…at this point, we're past the question…
There are no words I can give to you…
…No syllables or songs…

There's no real reason why I lied to you
…or why you lied to me…
Then, why were we so angry…
…when we knew it wasn't meant to be?

I lost my bitterness long ago
Fell apart from me in ways I did not know
But the true sounds source from deep inside
Honest feelings I had to hide

So, if you're looking for protection
From the wrath of my rejection…
You have your guards along the walls…
…But your boundaries are swollen with a staph-infection

If you want to know the truth
…and I'm not sure you're even asking…
I regret all I ever gave to you…
…I regret giving all I had to give…

I regret my candor, my honesty
When all I got was a smile and a nod
Not much I can do about it now
It's all forgotten in a fog

The sun is shining
…It's a New Year rising…
Holiday's are over…
…but the new warmth keeps you colder…

If you want you hear my lasting thought…
…thought, I doubt you have the strength to listen…
Your past is no longer a part of me
Your future makes me laugh
For I know I hold integrity…
…beyond the world that you can see…
I can be anything I want to be…
…your world is tied to their indignity

Melissa

I see the side of you
That you're afraid to show
I'm sure that you're aware of it
It's not my place to know

But when I look into your eyes
And see things without a word
It makes it that much easier,
For your message to be heard

The pain that you feel right now
Is not what you deserve
Yet, I still watch you running back to him
What purpose does that serve?

Sometimes it's what you need to face the world alone
The greatest moments happen when you're scared and prone
Don't believe the world's against you, give yourself a shot
It won't be long until he's a memory,
And eventually forgot

Melissa,
It's my only thought
For me to give you all my heart
I'd promise you more if only I had it to give

It's too cold to walk the earth in dark
So, if you even feel a spark
The time is now for us to make our mark

I must tell you I am scared
But my heart will not be continually impaired
By my side the world is open to us to be shared

Melissa,
I write this now because I have no words
To tell you all the things you should deserve
I will make up for them in every single way
And if I'm ever given the chance
I would never give it a second glance
You'd be mine forever in true romance

Melissa,
It's my only thought
For me to give you all my heart
I'd promise you more if only I had it to give

It's too cold to walk the earth in dark
So, if you even feel a spark
The time is now for us to make our mark

The Team Player

In a world of noises
All I pretend to hear is silence
I'm no better than the rest

I don't know who I am
Or where I wish to be
But I'm better
Inside I know I'm better

But we all have fears
We bury deep inside
We'd all be so much better
If we'd just raise our eyes
Look past the tears and anguish
Let our true selves shine
We're all in this together
There's no more place to hide

We all have fences and defenses
'Cause we're scared to show
Our face behind the curtain
And all the things we know
Eventually, we're judged
By a jury of peers
Who just look out for themselves
It's been the same for years

But we all have fears
We bury deep inside
We'd all be so much better
If we'd just raise our eyes
Look past the tears and anguish
Let our true selves shine
We're all in this together
There's no more place to hide

I know I can't keep waiting
Wasting time; procrastinating
The team won't face the music
I'll let the music let me choose it
It's a smokeless slag
Or a Root Beer Rag
It's my drug
And I choose to abuse it

The Islander

Busy sidewalks, crowded streets
Lonely pathways full of padded feets

There's a gentle buzzing of a stirring awe
Listening to people voicing all the shit they saw

In the world there is a place
With a single, solitary face
They live alone, they thrive alone
Which is fine for them, it is their home

There's too much pressure in the world
To be like others, no oysters or pearls
Each given from the gods of the sky
Are stolen by others, you'll never know why

So, each day I dream of the solitary face
They might as well be living in the depths of outer space
They know the world in which the live,
Happy as hell, there's no pressure to give.
Spending mornings beach side, embracing the waves
Thoughtless in moonlight, there's no electronics to crave

The melody of functionality is the tune that they play
But if they could trade lives with mine, I doubt they would stay

The injustice of this world is the uncertainty of anything
There is no perfection, and that's fine...
But there's certainly a bottom to the bottomless mine

The Islander dreams of seeing just one other face...
The beauty of life is that my dream is for never-ending space